Something I'll Never Have
by ZeAwesomeHetalian
Summary: Gilbert Beilschmidt lives in his younger brother's basement, he and his brother aren't the only ones living in that house though. Gilbert's Brother's boyfriend Feliciano also lives there. And Gilbert has fallen head-over-heels in love with him. Human AU.
1. The Daily Life Of Gilbert Beilschmidt

Well... Hello. I, am the Awesome one named Gilbert. Basically i live in my Brothers basement.. And My brother has an Italian Boyfriend who lives with us. (Yes, Boyfriend. My brother is Gay.). For some stupid reason, my brother won't let me sleep in the spare bedroom upstairs. Why. He and his boyfriend always sleep together. So Its not like anyone's using the spare room!

I work at home as a website designer and have a pet bird named Gilbird.

That pretty much sums up my life.

-Your _epic_ blog Admin, Gilbert.

Gilbert finished typing his first blog post and put his laptop away. "Mein gott..." He sighed, Thinking of his blog post, he realized how pathetic his life was; he lived in his brothers basement because he couldn't pay the rent for his apartment, he was completely broke, he had no friends, and worst of all, his brother is dating the man that Gilbert fell head over heels for. Feliciano.

He walked upstairs and sneaked into the kitchen, he didn't want to risk seeing His brother and Feliciano making out or something. He felt it necessary to make a gagging noise towards this thought, so he made gagging noises. "Gilbert?" Gilbert heard a soft, sweet voice coming from the doorway of the kitchen. He spun around swiftly to answer the man who had spoken, in other words; Feliciano. "y-yes?" Gilbert blushed.

"What're you doing? You were making weird noises..."

"Pffff I'm not doing anything what are you talking about?" He grabbed a lunchable from the fridge and slipped through the doorway where Feliciano stood, his back brushing up against the Italian's, as he did so, the somewhat foreign physical contact making a shiver shoot through Gilbert's spine.

"Um...? Ok?..." Feliciano watched him walk into the living room.

"Is Luddy home?"

"No.. He's at work.. He'll be home anytime though."

"Ah. O-Ok. And i assume you're 'working' as well?" He examined the various fabrics and sewing supplies scattered across the living room floor, Feliciano had a rather successful store on etsy.

"Sì."

"O-ok well you're obviously busy.. S-so I'll go eat downstairs.. Like always." Gilbert looked away, making his way towards to the stairs, trying to avoid stepping on a pair of scissors that lay on the floor. "You can eat up here, its fine with me!" Feliciano grinned.

that smile... That heart warming smile that somehow may have been a little to warm on Gilbert's heart. Knowing that warm smile would never be smiled because Gilbert was loving Feli, hurt him. _Burnt him._

"O-oh thank you..." Gilbert's blush became heavier, and he knew it. Feli's brow furrowed in concern as he pressed his hand against the taller man's forehead. "Are you feeling ok? You're a little warm.."

"Y-y-yeah I'm fine! i always feel fine.. Because I'm awesome.." He chuckled nervously.

Feliciano was _touching_ him. **W****_HAT SHOULD HE DO FELICIANO WAS TOUCHING HIM AND WHAT IF HIS BROTHER FOUND OUT!?_** Luddy would murder him... Gilbert you're to young to die...

Gilbert backed away from his touch. "Actually.. I think I will eat downstairs." He said rather quickly before stumbling down the stairs in a hurry. He sat down at his desk and let out a relieved sigh. "I'm never going upstairs again..." This statement was empty of course. He said it everyday, and usually went upstairs ten minutes later. And there was no exception this time.

As predicted, ten minutes later he made his way upstairs, only to find His brother and Feliciano cuddled up on the couch together. _ew_. "Oh. Hello, Ludwig." He rolled his eyes and went back downstairs, the only real reason he came up in the first place was to see Feliciano.

He lived like this. Every. Single. Day.


	2. Triangles are stupid

Well. Today is Feliciano's birthday. (Y'know, Feliciano, the one I finally told you about yesterday?) and its also my blogs 5 month anniversary. March 17th. So of course there is a birthday party. Feli also has a twin who i didn't mention. So its a double birthday i guess? Gotta go, someone's facebooking me..

-You're wonderful blog admin, Gil.

Gilbert published the post and picked up his phone to see who had just messaged him. Oh. Eliza, his childhood friend.

Elizaveta: so whats up assbutt?

Gilbert: you've been watching too much of that show haven't you.

Elizaveta: i can never watch too much of that show. Anyways, i found your blog.

Gilbert: dammit

Elizaveta: i saw that you said you're pansexual. Y'know if thats your sexual orientation then i have the perfect thing for you to meet. My frying _pan_.

Gilbert: stop with the bad puns. Are you going to Feli's party?

Elizaveta: yeah why?

Gilbert: G2g c u L8r

Elizaveta: ... I hate you. Talk like a real person.

Gilbert snickered at his ability to piss her off.

Luckily the birthday party was gonna be here, so all he had to do was walk upstairs. He did have to get dressed though. Crap. What was he gonna wear? It had to be something to impress Feli... Screw it, he was just gonna throw on jeans and a t-shirt and call it good. After hearing the doorbell ring multiple times he decided he should go up. Y'know, fashionably late. He immediately spotted one of his best friends sitting a little too close to Feliciano's twin, Lovino. "Yo, Antonio!" He smiled, walking up to him. And as he did so he noticed Lovino look away and slightly scootched away from Antonio. "Oh! Gilbert, Hola! How have you been? I haven't talked to you in ages!" "Ehhh... The usual. You?" He glanced at Lovino, who was apparently having a glaring contest with his worst enemy, also known as Ludwig. "I've never been better!~ Lovi and I started dating!" The Spaniard grinned, looking over at Lovino, who wasn't paying any attention. "Everyone i know seems to be gay. what the hell. Speaking of Gay, is Francis coming?" "Sì. He's just running a little late because of.. You know." Gilbert understood perfectly what he meant. "Again? Hot damn."

The door bell rang again, and Gilbert could practically sense who it was. He hesitantly went to open the door. Sure enough, it was who he thought. Roderich and Elizaveta. "Edelstein." He narrowed his eyes at the shorter man standing before him. "Beilschmidt." Roderich returned the glare with one that was twice as venomous. "Boys, boys. Calm down." Elizibeta laughed and walked through the door and greeted everyone. "...fine. We won't bicker today.." Roderich said, though he still held a glare with Him.

The party progressed, cake was eaten, talk was talked, and now they were giving gifts. Lovino had already gotten a bag of tomatoes, some new clothes, a waffle maker and a 'a life time supply of free hugs' coupon from Antonio. Feliciano had gotten a large amount of fabric for sewing, clothes, a book, and a large box from Ludwig that he was about to open. Feliciano excitedly unwrapped the present, smiling as he jokingly exclaimed, "its a box!" And opened the box, inside that box was another box. And inside the box that was in the box was another box. This went on for about ten boxes before he got to a smaller beautiful wooden box with exquisite carvings on the top and sides. Feliciano and glanced at his lover before opening it, and obviously there was another box inside this one, very cliché. But this box was very small, covered in black velvet with a hinge instead of a lid. Gilbert's eyes widened, praying to the god he didn't believe in that the contents of that box wasn't what he thought it was. But Feliciano's reaction to what was in the tiny box confirmed his worries. Feli jumped up and hugged Ludwig saying yes over and over. The contents of that box was **a ring**. The whole room was filled with claps and laughing, with the exception of Lovino, who just stared, horrified. Gilbert used this happy aura in the room as a distraction to get away, to just find a way outside to get some fresh air. He walked into the kitchen and out the back door to the patio.

This was definitely one of the most unexpected things to happen to him, and possibly the saddest. Feliciano was happy, right? Then why wasn't happy? Thats what he wanted, to make Feli happy.. Maybe because that wasn't him that Feli was hugging and saying yes to, not him that made Feli cry happy tears. He was snapped out of his shock when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Beilshmidt." Wonderful. It was Roderich. "What do you want?" "You love him, don't you?" He was surprised by the amount of kindness in the Austrian's eyes, normally they were arch enemies. "... No. What makes you think that?" Gilbert looked away solemnly, he was always a terrible liar, especially in the worst of times. "first off you're the only person in the room who didn't clap or celebrate besides Lovino. You just walked away. And I can tell by the way you look at him. Its the same way Elizaveta looks at you.." Gilbert looked up once again, surprised. There was no way Eliza liked him, and even if she did, that wouldn't diminish his love for Feli. Whats the point of dating someone when you're in love with someone else? "Hm." He grunted and walked back inside, trying to hold back tears as he congratulated Ludwig and Feliciano.

"Its the same way i look at you.." Roderich muttered as he followed the the Grieving Gilbert.

* * *

A/N: Hello lovelies~ theres only one more chapter, then I'll put an epilogue. OuO I also want to remind you all that reviews greatly encourage me to write. So if you like my stories then please do tell me. And wow i just realized i squeezed in Spamano, PruHun, PruAus, Gerita and tiny hints of AusHun along with the PruIta in this chapter. Whats that, 6 ships? Damn son.


	3. My Dear Brother

Hey guys. Its March 18th. Yesterday was the worst day of my life. Feliciano and Ludwig are getting married. I'm ashamed to say this, but I've honestly been crying all day.. I'm happy for them though, I'm just not so happy for me. And Eliza, if your reading this, don't worry I'm fine. And Roddy told me about your little crush on me too, thats okay. I haven't been feeling the best lately which i haven't told you guys yet. And I'm hungry all the time too, and thirsty. And the cool part is, even though I'm like a food vacuum, I'm not gaining any weight! I've actually been losing some.

-Your wonderful Admin, Gilbert Beilschmidt.

Gilbert closed his laptop and laid down on his bed, his sobs continuing. He never knew he loved Feli so much, never knew he could care for someone that much.

"Gilbert? Gil- G-Gilbert, whats wrong?" Feliciano had came down to see if He wanted to go out to dinner with Ludwig and him, only to see him sobbing. "N-nothing Feli. Don't worry about it." "But you're crying! Please tell me.. Maybe i can help!" Feliciano went the rest of the way down the stairs and sat on the bed next to him. "You can't help.. Feliciano i-" Gilbert shook his head. He didn't want Feli to be sad, or feel guilty for falling in love with his brother instead of him. That's definitely not something anyone should feel bad for. "You know what I need Feli? I need some hugs. And cuddles. Wanna be my cuddle buddy?" "Sì!~ thats easy, and it'll make you feel better, right?" Feliciano smiled and hugged him, he was so innocent.. "Yeah. It'll definitely make me feel better." Gilbert smiled artificially. At least he could pretend that Feliciano was his when he cuddled with him, right?

...

Hello. This is Ludwig, Gilbert's brother. Gilbert loved this blog quite a bit i see, he put a lot of work into it and has many fans. I also see that he was madly in love with my fiancée.. Everyone here is grieving greatly. you see, Gilbert has passed away. We haven't got an autopsy quite yet, but i swear to god if he committed suicide... Its against his morals, and if he did, Feliciano and I will blame ourselves for his death. In fact, Feliciano already blames himself.. I believe that part of my brothers soul is attached to this blog of his, no matter how crazy it sounds. Gilbert if you can hear me right now, just know that we all loved you. _Everyone_.

Rest In Piece my dear brother. We'll miss you.

-Ludwig Beilschmidt, Brother of your late Admin, Gilbert Beilschmidt.


	4. Epilogue

Today was Gilbert's funeral, only four people truly sobbed over the news of his death; his brother, the man he loved, the woman who loved him, and the man who loved him that was crying silently in the back of the room. All his best friends cried, his good friends cried and his regular friends cried. _But not as whole-heartedly as those four sobbed._

"If you would like to say anything, nows the time." The man said, no one stood up, no one had the courage or strength to go up there and say something about that man they all loved. Except one. One person stood up from the back of the room. "Gilbert and I, were indeed enemies. Or I should really say i was his enemy, it was a one sided hate. I loved him. So very much. There were four of us that grew up together. I ended up marrying one and falling in love with another. That other was Gilbert. My marriage means nothing really, we just did it to make our families happy.. Gilbert didn't know that, but now i truly wish he had. That is my only regret.. He's in a better place now, i know. And I'm grateful that he went in his sleep, we all thought it was suicide, actually. He'd been going through a tough time without any of us knowing.. Its honestly quite the relief to know that he went at the hand of a sickness, and not at his own." Roderich walked back to the corner of the silent room, some stunned by him saying that he loved another man, some surprised by him saying his marriage meant nothing, and some surprised to know that even someone who seemingly hated Gilbert, actually cared for him.


End file.
